Suicide Bombers 0 - 2 UK Cops

[13:04] <Mr^B|Office> I can confirm the rumour in Canary Wharf, two people shot dead
[13:04] <Mr^B|Office> dunno if they were bombers or what
[13:04] <Rico> Sauce?
[13:04] <Mr^B|Office> Security guards at 1 Canada Place
[13:05] <Rico> Let's hope they were bombers then. Hahah, bluck.

Hahah, I've scooped Sky and the BBC. Maybe.

Is he on drugs?

This BBS News Online article quotes Jacques Chirac as saying "One cannot trust people whose cuisine is so bad" and "After Finland, it is the country with the worst food."

Is he on drugs? I'd far rather eat traditional English food, and modern English food (curry, anyone?) than that French muck any day.

No wonder we don't get on with the fucking French. It's no surprise that I took great pleasure out of the recent Trafalgar commemoration.

Hey, France, I hope that fusion reactor you've just won goes horribly wrong and takes your frogs legs and fucking snails with the population of your stinking, garlic, bread and onion, cheese and fucking whine (sic) country. Fuck off and die, cunts.


Crazy Frog

I hate that stupid frog and all the stupid teenage kids that are sending him to the top of the hit parade. Kill 'em. Kill 'em all. This guy has the right idea. (Play the video, man. Play the video.)

The Cumbrain Tourist Board have an antidote, however. They have produced a ringtone that features Lake District sheep bb-ing 'Jerusalem'. Lord, bless us and save us.

Artificial Flowers

I just recorded an MP3 of myself singing 'Artificial Flowers'. I'm not the world's greatest a cappella singer (cough, understatement), so it's no production number. I did add a little 50's style echo, but I still think Bobby Darin's version is better. ;)

'Artificial Flowers' is my song of the moment, but it's being run a close second by Darin's rendition of Edith Piaf's 'Milord'.


Well, I've won a pair of tickets to Live8 in London. Now I just need to decide whether to go or sell my tickets. They're already going for £400 or more on Ebay. That'd cover most of my trip to Istanbul...

I just dropped 100 IQ points

Since I'm going to Istanbul next week, I decided to dye my hair red. My natural hair colour is almost black, so I didn't think that it'd really take a red dye that well, and came to the conclusion that I would have to go blonde first.

Well, I did that today. If you want to know what Eminem would look like if he ate too many pies, the answer is here.

A little straw-coloured on top - I think I could have done with more of the bleaching mixture on the longer bits, but as a base for the red dye next week, it should be fine. Didn't itch too badly, but it did feel like a swarm of ants were partying in my hair.

Istanbul! Istanbul! We're the greatest team in Europe and I'm going to Istanbul!

I just had an argument

I argued with some fucking kid that told me that "r'n'b" doesn't mean "rhythm 'n' blues". Well, fuck you in the face, it fucking does and I won't have any fucking kid hijacking the term for their own fucking use. Fuckers.